Where my Anger Lives

Disappointment and Fear
are fueling this passionate rant.

I feel vulnerable.
These pathetic exaggerated fears
run crazy circles around my brain.
I will allow myself
to wallow in anger.
It shall be brief.
I will not fall completely apart.

I hate that you started this.
I hate that you emailed me.
I hate that I replied.
I hate that briefly the world shined.

I hate to feel used.
I hate to feel uncertain.
I see you on facebook
and I have to unplug.
I cannot look at your face.
Yet, I find myself going there.
To look.
Just to break my heart.

I don't want to live with the knowlege
this relationship changed me.
You opened something inside
and I am afraid
it will close
without you.
I hate that I miss you.
I hate that I still
wonder what you are doing.
I won't harbor resentment forever
This moment though, I hate you.